With all of my wedding planning done, I was at home on Friday night, bored and contemplating going to a Sacramento strip club. It just so happened that world famous Latin sensation porn star Angelica Valentine was going to be performing.

I met her a couple of years ago at the AVN in Las Vegas. What? Pics or it didn’t happen? Well…



I texted a few people in the area to see if they wanted to go and eerily got no reply. Everyone else lived too far away to go to this club. This being my last day as a single guy, I wanted to go out BIG some big titties in my face. Well, a long-time friend called me up and he wasn't doing anything so it was on like Donkey Kong.

We went to Centerfolds in Sacramento where they give you free soft drinks with the price of admission. Cool deal! My friend said he’d pay for my lapdances all night long and I figured that was just talk. Well, I had him pegged wrong! He seriously paid for ALL my lapdances for the entire night!... and he was living it up! He made it rain, snow and flurry for just about every chick that was cute on the stage.

I was starting to question where the money was coming from, but oh well! The dancers were all very cute, but nothing to write home about. Normally, strip clubs have one or two hotter than hell chicks, but I didn't see any. There was one petite Asian that I had my eye on, but she kept vanishing before I could get to her. Maybe it was the alcohol.

Well, when the featured attraction, Angelica Valentine came out, she WORKED the stage. That woman can perform her ass off! My friend was sitting at the stage and he put a bunch of ones so she could come his way. When she came over, she straddled him, simulated giving him head and rubbed her huge tits in his face. Excited, he put another stack of ones on the stage and she came back, grabbed his water bottle, inserted it, took it out and deep throated it! I gave her a standing O for that one!

After her performance, the dancers came out with her DVD's and they were giving a 2 for 1 Lapdance special with a free DVD so you know I jumped all over that! What reeked was I spent too much time looking for that Asian hottie and most of the other chicks were grabbed up by dudes. I'm not into blondes, but there was a blonde cutie with heavenly legs so I took that. It would have been a bit better if her legs were freshly shaved. They looked really good under the dim red and purple hues of the club, but when I felt them up, they were kind of coarse.

My boy even got me another dance from a really cute brunette. This girl was an okay performer, but she hovered too much instead of grinding. She was kind of thin, but had the prettiest little ankles. Thin, boney and nicely defined.

Since Angelinca's performance was so hot, we waited for the next one. This time, I sat at the stage. Damn, Angelica is a performer. When she came out, she wore a cop uniform and did her little strip routine. I put a stack of ones on stage and she came to me, put her boots on my shoulders, her legs around my neck and straddled my face. Man, I felt her warm, moist pussy lips slide up the side of my face and on my lips! It smelled kinda nice though, like freshly cleaned snatch. Good thing I kept my mouth closed though! I thought about sticking my tongue out, but thought better of it. When she put her boots on my shoulders and that shit hurt like hell. Those boots were hard and heavy! I hope I don't have any bruises from that shit. That would be hard to explain. "What the hell happened?" Uh... I fell? Because of what she did with the water bottle before, we decided to put another one on the stage and she did it again! She grabbed the bottle, inserted it, stroked it furiously, took it out and sucked on it like a popsicle! Like Randy Jackson from American Idol says, “That was the BOMB and another strong performance!” It’s a good thing my friend had Purell in his car, because thanks to my paranoia, my face felt like it was kind of hot from her bare lips sliding up and down the side of my face.

After that performance, we went to another strip joint a few miles away cause my boy didn't have enough tits in his face. He seriously paid for everything the whole night! Well, this club’s music wasn’t as good and their girls weren’t as pretty, but what they lacked in facial attractiveness, they made up for in performance... and a bunch of the women there knew my friend by name! Turns out he frequents this club and has a rep as a big spender!

The first thing my friend did was get me a swing in the VIP room with his personal favorite vixen. This was my first ever time in there. 15 minutes of grinding with TAP all in my face. She even let me grab her tits and ass. It was good stuff, but nothing like the stories of BJ's and bare stroke jobs that you see on HBO. She did stroke my erect package and say, "Ooh, you're packing." How do you respond to that? Um... Thanks?

Well, after the girl worked me in the VIP, I came back out and kicked back in one of the booths away from the stage. At this club, after every 3rd stage performance, ALL the dancers take the stage so you can see what's on the menu. In addition, this is where they have 2 for 1 lapdances. I like that part. Well, I heard the obnoxious DJ on the mic say, "Sylent, please take the stage." I figured I must have been hearing things and didn’t pay it any mind. I looked at my friend who had a devilish grin on his mug and thought to myself, "Naw, he wouldn't", but he did! The DJ called me to the stage again so I took that long walk, climbed the stairs, sat in a chair and put my hands behind my back while at least 25 girls surrounded me. Once the music started, ALL the chicks working that night straddled me and shook their goodies in my face. It was good stuff! My friend must have dropped at least $400 on me that night cause I didn't pay for a single dance... AND he gave me his DVD of Angelica from the other club so now I have:



Twas’ a great night to spend my last night as a bachelor. TA&P is a wonderful thing.