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Old 01-06-2011, 05:05 AM   #1
Razorgod
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Default Bill collection.

Recently, I've been getting calls from a collection agency over a hospital bill I know for a fact my insurance covered a few years ago. I asked the collection agent to send me information so that I could forward it to my insurance company and get it looked into.

They've called two or three times, and everytime I've requested the information be sent to me the agent on the phone has copped an attitude. I'm not the guy you want to call up asking for money and then cop an attitude. Doesn't work.

Since they obviously aren't going to give me the information I require, and thus aren't going to get paid, I've decided to answer EVERY SINGLE one of their phone calls and engage the agent.....afterall, they are the ones paying for the calls.

Being a gamer, I've decided to make a game of it. And decided to share my game with you guys, in case you have your own annoying and uncooperative bill collectors.

Each time a call comes in, I make a decision as to the reaction I want from the agent on the call.

Sometimes the goal is to remain rational and calm and push the agent into losing their shit. (It's much easier than it should be. I think collection agencies employ a lot of meth addicts to man their phone lines.)

Sometimes I lose my shit, and see how long I can mix rational behavior with rage and string the agent along before they get fed up and hang up. (It's really not hard to just go straight rage, you gotta mix it up enough to make them think they are making progress.)

I've employed accents and quirky behavior traits. (Which I've also taken to breaking out during tech support calls....yeah, I'm bored.)

And I'm thinking of trying to evangelize the word of Satan to my next caller.

At any rate, I can't be the only one who plays mind fuck games with the assholes who blow up your phone and then talk to you like your 12.....

Any ideas, stories, experiences, etc, etc....?
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Old 01-06-2011, 01:29 PM   #2
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That sounds fun.
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Old 01-06-2011, 05:17 PM   #3
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My favorite is when they start off with "Can I speak to Mrs. Tomaselli" I say, "This is her." in my deepest manly voice. They say, "I'm sorry, we need Mrs Tomaselli" I say, "This is her, well, it's her since the operation." *CLICK*

Another favorite is to go the inbred hick route. "Can I speak to the lady of the house?" "Well, she's out back beatin' the kids for getting into some shit that I don't want to know about. (pull the phone away from my face) BESSIE!! Get you big butt over here and answer this here phone!!" Sometimes the wife plays along (only if I don't use the big butt part).
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Old 01-06-2011, 09:17 PM   #4
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I really hate those collection people, sorry to those here who might be one, but they suck.
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Old 01-06-2011, 09:28 PM   #5
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Today, I decided to settle up. So I gave 'em my credit card number....

463888259687353

Which on a numeric keypad spells....

"gofuuuckyourself"

I might of aimed to high with that one. They didn't get it.
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Old 01-06-2011, 09:33 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Razorgod View Post
Today, I decided to settle up. So I gave 'em my credit card number....

463888259687353

Which on a numeric keypad spells....

"gofuuuckyourself"

I might of aimed to high with that one. They didn't get it.
What might really suck is that is probably someones card number.
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Old 01-06-2011, 09:35 PM   #7
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yeah and the worse part is nowadays most collection agencies are foreign. had one call saying his name was john smith but had the thickest indian accent...
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Old 01-06-2011, 09:36 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Godmera View Post
What might really suck is that is probably someones card number.
Naw, it was rejected. It doesn't fit the format of any of the major credit cards. It has enough numbers, but the sequences are off.

They said it was rejected and I kind of chuckled and said 'That's a shame' and hung up.
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Old 01-06-2011, 09:49 PM   #9
Zander Yurami
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I normally answer all calls from collectors with "Shin-Ra Electric Power Company. How may I direct your call?"
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Old 01-06-2011, 10:04 PM   #10
Trey Strain
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I know a guy who's a salesman, and every time a telemarketer calls him, he says, "All right, buddy. I'm a salesman myself. Let's see you sell me something."
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Old 01-06-2011, 10:16 PM   #11
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This sounds like the game my father use to play with telemarketers. He would keep them on the phone for HOURS talking about everything under the sun, then tell them he wasn't intrested in changing services or whatever.
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