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Old 08-03-2018, 11:19 PM   #7326
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Ip Man 3 - I swear, the more IP Man movies they make, the worse they get. Tyson's role in this is just... random and misplaced just to get a cheap appearance out of him, and even worse, they dubbed over his voice, which is comical! The martial arts sparring was decent and Yen was good as always, but the story was all over the place.

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Old 08-05-2018, 12:12 PM   #7327
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Fright Night (1985)

"What could be more important than my autograph?"

Baskin (2015)

"Hell is not a place you go to. You carry Hell with you at all times. You carry it inside you."

A pretty good, but surreal Turkish horror.

The Seven Vampires (1986)

"There's nothing you can do for me; thank you for your interest, anyway."

A mediocre Brazilian horror comedy. Ivan Cardoso's work (this is the third film of his I've seen) is hard to describe. He outright steals things (this, for instance, uses a Hitchcock clip and Psycho music and I feel like they probably didn't pay for it). Apparently, the title/concept came after a pop song of the same name, which probably accounts for the lack of seven actual vampires.

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)

"Don't call me 'Tiny.'"

Still in a Trek mode. Not sure if I'll watch any more of the movies, but I think of 2 & 3 like one story (even though there's a tonal shift and quality drop), which moved to followup the riffed WoK with this (they haven't done a riff yet). There's actually a lot I like in this movie, unfortunately 95% of it is in first half.

Suburbicon (2017)

"Yeah, you been in this business as long as I have, you develop a nose for hanky panky."

Has the Coen brothers feel (due to them co-writing it) but without the full payoff. Not as bad as some people seem to think, but certainly not up to the level of Clooney's dramas.
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Old 08-05-2018, 06:13 PM   #7328
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Somehow I wish Christopher Robin would have done better. Kids not appreciating something like Winnie the Pooh is exactly part of the problem of today's youth if you ask me.
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Old 08-06-2018, 06:28 AM   #7329
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Quote:
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Somehow I wish Christopher Robin would have done better. Kids not appreciating something like Winnie the Pooh is exactly part of the problem of today's youth if you ask me.
Have you seen it? Is it as good as the books? I agree it would be a shame if kids can’t appreciate Winnie the Pooh, but I’d only take this film’s performance as evidence of that if it was actually faithful to the source material. I really want it to be, but haven’t had a chance to watch it yet.
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Old 08-06-2018, 11:48 PM   #7330
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Dark Angel [aka I Come in Peace] (1990)

"I'm a team player.
-Well, your team sucks."

Dolph Lundgren plays a no-nonsense cop who ends up on the trail of an alien who ODs random people to steal their endorphins to sell on the intergalactic black market. A fed and a space cop join him along the way.

The Scarlet Scorpion (1990)

"This angel is a devil."

The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005)

"When should I call her?
-You like her?
Yeah
-Yeah, you definitely don't want to call her.
When is the next Olympics?"

I guess I hadn't seen this because raunchy comedies are often more annoying than funny, but this one (while still raunchy) was funny and the characters kind of charming.


Being Flynn (2012)

"I'm doing the same thing here as you are, gathering material.
-No, I'm not gathering material. This is my life.
Life is gathering material."


Rifftrax: 300 (2006/7)

"The slowmostrians are coming!"
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Old 08-07-2018, 10:50 PM   #7331
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Christopher Robin - It's a very nice film. It's nothing groundbreaking, and won't but for a kids / family film I really enjoyed it, and even got quite teary-eyed. Plus I find it impossible to hate Winnie The Pooh - 7.5 / 10
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Old 08-07-2018, 11:03 PM   #7332
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We'll probably see it when it comes to the bargain theater. We're big fans of the Winnie-the-Pooh books (and to a lesser extent the older animated films). Eeyore is our favorite, I think. I love how he's so pessimistic, but generally not bitter about it. He expects the worst, and accepts it so matter-of-factly.
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Old 08-08-2018, 01:54 PM   #7333
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976-EVIL 2 (1991)

"Help me, Zuzu!"

Better than I expected. Actually, most of it was middle-ground horror sequel but the director and/or was clearly a horror fan and film buff. The best bit is a ghost kill that mixes It's a Wonderful Life and Night of the Living Dead. One scene made it clear that they were Sam Raimi fans and another came close (between the set-up and the music) to ripping off Terminator 2.

Commando (1985)

"I eat Green Berets for breakfast."

Bizarrely, I was planning to watch this last night already (even e-mailed a friend about it) when Cinemassacre chose that day to do a retro video review of it. I wanted to see it again (even though I'm real familiar with it) because I want to watch the Russian knock-off of it, which won't have subtitles. Speaking of which . . .

Den D [D Day] (2008)

"Schwarz would have jumped."

Despite that quote (which I got from a review), I couldn't find a subbed (let alone a dubbed) version of this knock-off, but since it was so close, I feel like I got most of it and it was fun. Dave would like the motivation: the director/actor was tired of what he called modern cinema's reliance on metrosexual heroes and decided the answer lay in the more manly men of Schwarzenegger movies. Of course, he did this all without permission (which I suppose is equally ballsy), which is why I don't expect to ever see an American release.

Blue is the Warmest Color (2013)

"Nothing happens by chance."

Of Unknown Origin (1983)

"Keep it up. Just keep it up. I've got friends in Jersey."

I liked this one because it wasn't overblown. It's just about a corporate type who happens to be pressured to do a big project for a promotion while his wife and kid are gone when a very large rat moves in. It's unusually big (and a bit unrealistic), but not mutated or alien or anything. It's basically just a man vs. nature story.

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Christopher Robin - It's a very nice film. It's nothing groundbreaking, and won't but for a kids / family film I really enjoyed it, and even got quite teary-eyed. Plus I find it impossible to hate Winnie The Pooh - 7.5 / 10
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We'll probably see it when it comes to the bargain theater. We're big fans of the Winnie-the-Pooh books (and to a lesser extent the older animated films). Eeyore is our favorite, I think. I love how he's so pessimistic, but generally not bitter about it. He expects the worst, and accepts it so matter-of-factly.
Apparently, the Chinese censors finds it easy to hate Pooh: New Winnie The Pooh Film Denied Release In China for An Allegedly Dark Reason
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Old 08-08-2018, 03:06 PM   #7334
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Heh. Anything Pooh related gets scrubbed because the leader is sensitive about protesters saying he looks like Pooh.
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Old 08-10-2018, 03:58 AM   #7335
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mister Ed View Post
We'll probably see it when it comes to the bargain theater. We're big fans of the Winnie-the-Pooh books (and to a lesser extent the older animated films). Eeyore is our favorite, I think. I love how he's so pessimistic, but generally not bitter about it. He expects the worst, and accepts it so matter-of-factly.
Eeyore is great. His upside down negative attitude always got a laugh out of me as a kid.

I will say that it's hard for me to appreciate the new voices as much, like for Piglet and Rabbit. They hired British actors (British character of course, but still), and they just stick to their native tongues. It just took me a while to get used to Piglet not sounding the same as usual. Brad Garrett was perfect casting as Eeyore, though.
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Old 08-16-2018, 02:41 AM   #7336
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Vigilante (1982)

"You got a moral obligation, the right of self-preservation."

Catwomen of the Men (1953)

"We have no use for men."

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

"Nobody's going to touch that f***ing ray of sunshine!"

Happy quarter century to the ninth and not final Friday the 13th.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012)

"Put on some Radiohead. I want to do heroin to Radiohead."

Really good. Sort of a romcom, but also a drama following a couple of people who meet as an asteroid is days away from wiping out earth. Plays well on the ideas of what people would be doing. Great soundtrack.

The Lego Batman Movie (2017)

"Hold on a sec. Are you trying to tell me that Bruce Wayne is Batman... 's roommate?"

I thought this was fairly funny, but I didn't seem to dig it as much as a lot of people I've heard. I probably could've watched it under better circumstances, though.

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Eeyore is great. His upside down negative attitude always got a laugh out of me as a kid . . .
Eeyore was always my favorite as a kid (though Pooh wasn't my favorite kids franchise), which in retrospect is funny since some people call my cynical.
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Old 08-16-2018, 06:43 PM   #7337
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Old 08-18-2018, 06:30 AM   #7338
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Double Indemnity (1944)

"You'll be here too?
-I guess so, I usually am.
Same chair, same perfume, same anklet?
-I wonder if I know what you mean.
I wonder if you wonder."

Seven Samurai (1954)

"But time flies. Before your dream materializes, you get gray hair."
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Old 08-18-2018, 05:31 PM   #7339
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The Lost Empire (1984)

"Oh shit!"

I saw this for sale on eBay as a VHS, didn't feel like buying that (especially when it was shipping from Turkey or some place), so I checked out the upload on YouTube.

For some reason, the upload was almost entirely in Japanese or some similar language, because I couldn't understand barely anything, except for random bits here and there where characters weren't dubbed. Even with that unusual language barrier, you can still understand the overall story.

There's a fast-moving series of texts at the beginning that explain that, ages ago, an advanced civilization lost powerful jewels after a cataclysmic war and that whoever finds the jewels will gain incredible power and take over the world. An "unscrupulous evil scientist" (Angus Scrimm, playing Dr. Sin Do) is using a private island as his base to plot his evil plot. It's up to Angela Aames, Raven de la Croix, and Melanie Vincz to save the day.



Scrimm has an army of robed, gun-toting cultists who oversee a troop of beautiful, scantily-clad women train, probably because sexploitation and all that, but even before we get to the "old man surrounds himself with young half-naked women" trope, we see the ladies engage in scantily-clad prison mud wrestling!



Because apparently prisons back then had a dominatrix engage in spectator sports.

But once the trio of lovelies reach the island, things progress as they attempt to infiltrate the villain's organization. I'm not gonna lie, I got a vague Enter the Dragon vibe from this, but of course it's nowhere near as sophisticated. Still, Scrimm makes his entrance as a human, but when the climax strikes and one of the heroines (Aames, I believe) takes the fight to his lab, he proves invulnerable to a spear to the chest. Thinking fast, she punches him...only for him to tear all the flesh off his face and reveal he's basically a skeleton-headed desiccated corpse:



He then uses magical energy to pin her to the wall as he unveils his doomsday laser cannon, which is, shit you not, a mechanical cock-and-balls setup. (I can't find a picture of it, but trust me, it's hilariously obvious). He then tests the cannon by zapping an object, and it becomes wildly obvious that the whole thing is a dick joke because in order to fire, the cannon's shaft actually contracts and then pushes forward again.

Another female warrior arrives, her gun is useless against Angus Skeletimm, and he disintegrates her. And then Aames's lover arrives and decapitates the bastard easily. After he frees her and goes to get everyone so they can flee the island's destruction, the jerk cop from early in the film (who is revealed later to be working for Scrimm as a slavemaster) shows up to kill Aames. He gets struck by misfiring lasers, and the audio department's uproarious ineptitude makes itself clear by the looping scream he does (kid you not, the audio is clearly looping for his cries of pain).

Loverboy returns, and he and Aames watch as Scrimm's still-talking head is pulled into Hell itself (the floor cracks open and an arm made of lightning grabs his noggin before retracting; it's actually a pretty cool moment).

Everyone rushes aboard a small private plane and off to safety as the island blows up in spectacular fashion.

I thought this would be cheesy and that I'd quit, but the last ten minutes are so outrageously funny that I have to find some spare cash and buy a copy of this on DVD (hopefully in English and with a much better transfer).
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Old 08-19-2018, 02:47 AM   #7340
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Hit List (1989)

"For a sucker, right."

A hitman (Lance Henriksen) for a mob boss gets the wrong house and kidnaps the wrong man (Jan-Michael Vincent)'s son, thinking him the son of a protected witness. This is from the same director of Maniac, Maniac Cop 1-3, and Vigilante. It's not great, but okay for a mob thriller type. Henricksen is awesome as always. JMV is his normal self. Rip Torn is fun as the mob boss who orders the hit. The title is a bit misleading since the "list" is two people and the second is the plot of the film. Botched Hit and Kidnapping would be more apropos, but I guess less catchy.
Neither Netflix nor my local library had it, so to try it free I watched the one on Youtube, which was fine except for annoyingly over-large Danish subtitles.

The Giant Claw (1957)

"Did he say what it was?
-Yes, he did. A bird. A bird as big as a battleship."
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Old 08-19-2018, 02:52 AM   #7341
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A battleship, Ned! As big as one!
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Old 08-19-2018, 04:18 AM   #7342
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The Meg (2018)

"He walks fast and he looks heroic, but he's kinda got a negative attitude."

Brief thoughts in the horror thread.

None But the Brave (1965)

"It's his beach."

Sinatra helmed this flick about a small Japanese unit stranded on a desert island when a US plane gets shot down. The two sides have to decide whether to fight or find a way to survive together.
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Old 08-19-2018, 06:22 PM   #7343
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True Romance (1993)

"Except maybe I wouldn't have named our son Elvis."

The film my one boss loaned me (with Killer Klowns). Holy shit, this film is completely nuts.

I couldn't stop laughing while I'm seeing the opening credits, nothing but stars in this film.

This film is indeed very reminiscent of Tarantino, because it felt like watching some of his older stuff, but perhaps a little more frantic. I like Slater, but seeing him play this nerve-rattled and desperate man was something else (then again, I only saw him in Broken Arrow and Mindhunters, I think, so I never really saw his acting range).

Man, I felt sorry for Hopper, he was just a regular guy. Walken was such a dick (and Oldman, guy shot Sammy!). Poor cops, too. And Balki.

I think Kilmer playing Elvis as a ghostly mentor was hilarious. Him telling Slater to kill Oldman was a riot. I mean, the ghost of The King is telling you to shoot a pimp so you can be happy with your girlfriend, how insane is that? (Of course, the idiot forgets to grab his license back).

Film was a hoot, aside from the copy I had pixelating a few times so that it looked blurry in a couple scenes.
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Old 08-21-2018, 02:26 AM   #7344
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War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)

"The hunger for peace is in the hearts of all."

I liked this one more than the previous (not that I disliked Dawn). "Bad Ape" was a great addition. Liked their Nova and other nods to the originals.

Hard Target (1993)

"I cannot dance, but, I can get up."

Happy 25th to John Woo's American premier.
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Old 08-21-2018, 02:32 AM   #7345
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Man, I used to borrow that off the neighbors all the time (they recorded it on VHS off the TV). That fight outside the bar, where he kicks the one schmuck onto the car, used to blow my mind.
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Old 08-25-2018, 01:38 AM   #7346
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Byzantium (2012)

"I'm never merciful, and knowledge is a fatal thing."

In his introduction to the blu-ray for Interview with a Vampire, director Neil Jordan called that movie one about "the saddest vampires you'll ever see." It's interesting that if there's a real contender for that 'award' this would be it and it's the next (and so far, I believe only other) vamp movie he did. In fact Louis is downright giddy compared to Eleanor. I liked this one though it was hard to follow at first, then they fill in the gaps with flashbacks.

Leave Her to Heaven (1945)

"There's nothing wrong with Ellen. It's just that she loves too much."

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Man, I used to borrow that off the neighbors all the time (they recorded it on VHS off the TV). That fight outside the bar, where he kicks the one schmuck onto the car, used to blow my mind.
It has amazing fights and stunts. I watched it with my folks this time and was pointing out all the live stunts that they would half CGI for safety and ease nowadays.



I had this on VHS back in the day, but upgraded recently (came in a two-pack DVD with the not-as-good Sudden Death).
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Old 08-26-2018, 02:42 AM   #7347
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Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

"If you're nothing without the suit, then you don't deserve it."

"Don't make me come down there, you punk!"

This was hilarious. Seriously, I loved all the name drops (Shocker/Scorpion), the Vulture redesign (both his look/angle and Keaton's performance), Liz made me really hope for a romance (fucking Parker Luck!). Film was a little long, maybe, but shit, it was a lot of fun and made me love Spidey more than I already do.

Now I need to find some Vulture toys on eBay.
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Old 08-26-2018, 03:06 AM   #7348
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Westworld (1973)

"They're real accommodating.
-They eh, they look it."

Curse of the Werewolf (1961)

"Do you like to work?
-If I'm paid for it."

Although I've seen this classic Hammer werewolf flick several times, it was my choice for tonight's full moon because I figured it was a good one to share with the family (and my mother did like it).

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Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) . . .
This was hilarious. . . Film was a little long, maybe, but shit, it was a lot of fun and made me love Spidey more than I already do. . .
I was leery of this film since I had come to dislike the Raimi films and the two that followed. That, plus my general distaste for the character of Spider-man and his constant quips and sarcasm, made me wait until the library got it, but I loved it and added the BD to my Amazon wishlist. Tying it into the Avengers-cycle films (which I'm basically burning out on) didn't even bother me because the interactions were pretty good.
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Old 08-26-2018, 06:53 PM   #7349
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Very nice romantic comedy. Starts out well, though it does devolve into melodrama and cliches typical of the genre by the end. Constance Wu is great and charming, though I still find Awkwafina irritating, and not very funny. Pleasant stuff.
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Old 08-29-2018, 02:51 AM   #7350
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[American Masters] A Conversation with Gregory Peck (1999)

"As a professional, I think I'd like to be thought of as a good storyteller."

During the end of his life, Peck did a roving series of Q&A sessions and this TV documentary puts together best bits of them plus some in-between links showing his life. Recommended for Peck fans or classic film fans in general.

The Descent: Part 2 (2009)

"Modern mines have metal props. Miners prefer these old wooden ones.
-Why's that?
The metal ones don't give you any warning when they're about to go."

Not horrible, but not particularly adding anything worth while. It repeated a lot of the things from the first and seemed to up the gross factor. If you're curious about the fate of the two last ladies you see in the first, it does answer those questions (and then leaves you with a whole other head scratcher).
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