Last film you saw, vol. 6

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Fantastic Four (2015)

"You know what Albert Einstein said: if you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."

[Mister.Weirdo Guardian of the Universe Find all posts View Profile Close Mister.Weirdo]

While it didn't live-up to it's title (obviously), I thought it was a pretty solid western. The cast really helped, and I think some of the shoot-out scenes were very well-done, although you could tell that parts of the film were written by the creator of True Detective.

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The Wild Geese (1978)

"There's a separate clause in my contract that says my liver is to be buried separately with honors."

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White Zombie (1932)


Full review in Classic Horror thread.

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The Island (2005)

"Well, it's your lucky day, Captain Kirk. He's in the can.
-He's in a can?
Takin' a dump.
-A dump? Taking it where?"

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Hitman: Agent 47 (2015)

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The Man with Wax Faces (1914)

"I assert that the sensation of fear is unknown to me."

The Mummy's Curse (1944)

"Truth will flourish in fantasy."

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Eh! I didn't particularly care for this. It was well-shot, and Hanks was great as ever, but even for a 97 minute film, it felt very padded. I mean they reshowed the plane crash three separate times, it felt very unnecessary.

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Puppet Master 4 (1993)

"You must transcend linearity."

Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter (1994)

"Drink deep from the fountain of evil, my child."

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The Martian (2015)

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Guardian of the Highlands (2013)

"He's a beaver collector."

Gore Gore Girls [aka Bloody Orgy] (1972)

"You've seen enough."

RIP Herschell Gordon Lewis.

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Goosebumps (2015)

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Despicable Me (2010)

"Curse you, tiny toilet!"

Varan the Unbelievable (1958/62)

"It's going to take a lot more than mumbo jumbo to get rid of me."

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Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity (1987)

"Now what do we do?"


I caught a mention of this on a random site, and managed to check it out through Netflix. The plot is basically The Most Dangerous Game, as two young slave women escape confinement and flee/crash on a jungle world. Meeting the hunter who lives there, they come to realize that he enjoys hunting and murdering people, and work to save themselves from the madman.

The production value of this is somewhere between Roger Corman and Troma, but without the class, competence, or ambition of either. The acting is absolutely god-awful, the sets are better-than-usual run-of-the-mill, and you get a LOT of softcore shots of the girls (mostly in cavewoman-esque bikinis, some scenes in skimpy underwear, a few titty shots), but this thing is a total drag even at 80 minutes (the writer(s) clearly felt hunting is just following an obvious path in a too-dense jungle to where your victim has walked into a very obvious giant web and then shooting him with a laser crossbow that looks exactly like a regular crossbow).

The extras are nothing special, though the trailers for the various schlock flicks might attract a few to one title or another (Bill Maher apparently got his start here, being a witless douche hunter in Cannibal Women in the Avocado Green Jungle or whatever it was called). Actually, The Creepozoids looked like a decent horror flick, with some grotesque deaths. Julie Strain also is a star somewhere in these things, along with a couple other minor players.

I'd recommend avoiding this one. Even seeing Brinke Stevens back in the day doesn't really do much. Unless you can grab this extremely cheap, just pass.

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Four Rooms (1995)

"The less a man makes declarative statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect."

Spongebob Squarepants: Sponge out of Water (2015)

"Welcome to the apocalypse, Mr. Squidward. I hope you like leather."

Twilight (1998)

"Looks like we all run out of luck in the end."

No, not that Twilight. This one is a pretty decent neo-Noir.

Crocodile Dundee II (1988)

"Mick, be careful. This isn't a game.
-It is to me."

Navy SEALs: The Untold Story (2014)

"Nobody who wears the trident today earned that reputation. They inherited that reputation from those who came before them."