THE JOKE THREAD!

[Colonel Xonic The Butcher Find all posts View Profile Close Colonel Xonic]

So this guy walks into a bar and takes a seat.

The man next to him leans closer and says "Wanna know a really cool secret about this bar?"

"Well yea, I guess so" the other man replies.

"You can jump right out of that window and the hit the ground and bounce right back up!"

Obviously not buying it, the man looked at bartender and ordered his drink
The 2nd guy leaps to his feet and yells "I'll prove it!" jumps out the window and re-appears seconds later without a scratch on him.

The first man runs to the window and looks outside, seemingly this isn't a trick. After a few more drinks he asks the second man to do it again. This time he is going to watch closely.

The 2nd guy jumps bounces back up and smiles

Believing this all to be true the man jumps out the window and falls to his death.

The 2nd man returns to the bar where the bartender greets him saying "Superman, you're such a dick when you're drunk!"

I thought this was a bad joke threadSilly me.

[everflight Corpse Trainee Find all posts View Profile Close everflight]

I thought this was a bad joke threadSilly me.

Yea but it seemed proper to post it here even though it is one of the best jokes of all time. My Dad told it to me when I was around thirteen I think. It's a classic

[Colonel Xonic The Butcher Find all posts View Profile Close Colonel Xonic]

Hell yes. And so is fearless's Sarah Palin...

[IonFan Forum Member Find all posts View Profile Close IonFan]

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Fearless Agent Orange Find all posts View Profile Close Fearless]

......

[Mrt1000son Dark Lord of the Sith Find all posts View Profile Close Mrt1000son]

[Guest Close Mr.Itty]

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.

I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, he/she looks good.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

[Guest Close Guardbug]

OKay, so backstory first. I'm Mormon, and my friends who got me into Green Lantern a few months ago just started comparing the Blue Lantern Corps with Mormons, 'cause of the Brother/Sister title, Walker is extremely religious, etc. Not trying to start a debate, just telling you our joke.

My friend, who is Jewish, was asking about Green Lantern and we eventually got to telling him about the Blue Lantern Corps being like Mormons then about the Orange Corps being so greedy it had only one member. He said "So the Orange one is like the Jews?"

And my buddy Conor says "Yeah that is why he is engulfed in flames!"

Hahaha, we had a good laugh at that one.

[Fearless Agent Orange Find all posts View Profile Close Fearless]

My friend, who is Jewish, was asking about Green Lantern and we eventually got to telling him about the Blue Lantern Corps being like Mormons then about the Orange Corps being so greedy it had only one member. He said "So the Orange one is like the Jews?"

My ass! *Clutches Orange Battery* It's MINE!

[HAL 9000 Jordan Fatality's Blacksmith Find all posts View Profile Close HAL 9000 Jordan]

So........
Superman is flying through Metropolis and he sees Wonder Woman sunbathing naked on a skyscraper. So he thinks to himself, "Man I'm so fast, I could probably go down there at superspeed, screw her, and get away before she knows it's me." So he does the deed. Wonder Woman screams, "what the hell was that?!?" The invisible man says, "I don't know, but my ass sure hurts!!!"

[Soranik Natu Green Lantern Find all posts View Profile Close Soranik Natu]

Whats brown and sticky?
A stick.

>> Used to tell that all the time as a kid.

[Soranik Natu Green Lantern Find all posts View Profile Close Soranik Natu]

So........
Superman is flying through Metropolis and he sees Wonder Woman sunbathing naked on a skyscraper. So he thinks to himself, "Man I'm so fast, I could probably go down there at superspeed, screw her, and get away before she knows it's me." So he does the deed. Wonder Woman screams, "what the hell was that?!?" The invisible man says, "I don't know, but my ass sure hurts!!!"

HA. xD

[Guest Close Mr.Itty]

So........
Superman is flying through Metropolis and he sees Wonder Woman sunbathing naked on a skyscraper. So he thinks to himself, "Man I'm so fast, I could probably go down there at superspeed, screw her, and get away before she knows it's me." So he does the deed. Wonder Woman screams, "what the hell was that?!?" The invisible man says, "I don't know, but my ass sure hurts!!!"

Oldie but Goldie.

[Guest Close listerine]

1st guy: I'm going to be the first astronaut to land on the sun.
2nd guy: But if you touch the sun you'll burn to death.
1st guy: Don't worry, I'll go at night.

[Fearless Agent Orange Find all posts View Profile Close Fearless]

lol